Have you ever had that moment when you know you are going to get blasted in the face but you just had to turn around and kneel down anyway?  I am playing and cash game on Chanpoker.com and I am on the button with J-10 suited.  There is one caller of the big blind and I raise to 4 times the big blind in an attempt to steel the blinds.  The blinds fold and the original caller calls my raise.  The flop comes 6-7-8 with 2 hearts.  My opponent bets 75% of the pot.  I don’t think there is a chance they hit the flop other then a flush draw so I raise to 4 times his bet which they call.  The turn brings a 10 of hearts.  Now there is 4 cards to a straight and a heart flush draw.  I have top pair and an inside straight draw and he goes all in.   At this point I know I am beat.   They either called with the flush draw or a straight draw which the 10 of hearts would have most likely completed either.  I can only beat a bluff and he has represented strength most of the hand so a bluff is not likely, but for some reason I cannot lay this garbage hand down.  I know I am beat.  There is no chance for me and in true donkey fashion I call this for all my cash.   As suspected my opponent turns over pocket 9s giving him an over pair at the flop and a completed straight on the turn and me drawing to 2 outs in the deck.  5% PERCENT TO WIN!!!!  WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?!?!?!?!  The river brings air and I hand my opponent my money.  What a donkey.

Alright, so I am playing a shorthanded, 6 person max., cash game on one of my favorite poker sites and I am in the big blind.  As is the case most times when your blind is already in I wake up with one of the worst starting hand in poker, 7-2 suited.  The first guy folds, then there were 3 callers and the small blind folds.  The flop comes 2-6-K rainbow and I am first to act.  Since at this point I feel I really only have 1 shot to take down this pot and fire at the pot for about half the pot.  I get one caller and everyone else folds.  The turn brings a jack.  Since the only player left just called on the flop, that card did not help any draw that he could have had and I want to continue to represent strength I fire again for about half the pot and get called.  The river brings a 4 and at this point I figure I am pretty much beat and this guys doesn’t seem to be going there so I shut it down and check.  I caller be almost nothing so I call as I am pot committed for that much and he turns over J-4!!!!!!!  WTF?!?!?!  My first question is why did you even put in the blinds with that shit?  But let’s just say you like to see flops so you called the blind and got an air ball on the flop and with no hand and no draw you call my half pot size bet with absolute nothing!!!!!! Even with the crap I am holding at least I hit a piece and at this point am a huge favorite to take it down as only a jack, four or runner runner for the straight can save you.  Why the hell are you even in this and what in the world possessed you to call with no hand and no draw on the flop?  Now most at this point are saying “well that’s poker” and I get that but I hate paying donkeys that obviously have no idea how to play the game and make me wonder if they even know how the hand rank.  F’ING DONKEY!!!!!!

So in the first part of this segment I talked about poker players that got upset about taking a bad beat and attempted to teach the donkeys how to play poker instead of just letting them keep making moron moves and emptying their pockets later on. Today I am going to talk about a different “bad beat professor.” Instead of being helpful just get angry and attack the other players. If you have ever seen the Friends episode where the character Joey is teaching acting classes and tells one of his students to play a part gay attempting to screw him over as Joey was also up for the same part. These players are kind of like that, no real help from these guys, they are just jackasses. I guess it doesn’t even need to be a bad beat that these poker players take they just need to lose any hand. I was playing a session in a sit ‘n’ go and this particular hand and for hole cards I get big slick. I raise to the standard 3.5 times the big blind and get a one caller. The flop comes ace, rag, rag giving me top pair, top kicker. Since I have a very strong hand at this point I bet about 2/3 of the pot with this guy calls. The turn bring nothing really useful allowing me to continue betting and this time it is about 3/4 of the pot and my only opponent folds giving me the pot. Out of no where he starts calling me a clown. Not sure if he is in a bad mood or he thought he had a good hand or maybe he had queens or kings and realized by my betting I caught the ace but from nowhere this donkey starts attacking and calling me a clown telling me to keep fishing. I played the hand strongly as I had a strong hand and this guy gets cranky. I think possibly it is just me but then a few minutes later he is in a hand with a different player who goes all in on him with queens and the donkey calls with Ace, rag and loses 90% of his stack and then continues to brutalize the players that are out playing him as any 5 year old that know how to play go fish could probably do. I guess those can do, teach and these guys are bitter jackass teachers that think they are too good for the level they are at. If you have one of these poker players at your table watch out and don’t let them rattle you. Let them to continue to lose their head along with their bankroll.